Thanksgiving is a time were everyone HAS GREAT DEALS! Who cares about spending time with your family? Go to your nearest mall and sit outside in the cold for hours, waiting for the oncoming bloodshed of Black Friday! Once you force your way though the crowds of people with a riot shield into the nearest apple store, watch as panicking people tear each other’s flesh off for the latest iPhone!

Once you managed to force your way out of the apple store (hopefully with all your limbs), you can make your way up to the nearest game-stop to get your kid a X BOCKS juan were you see the store clerk rocking in the corner crying, and people throwing money at him… But it was all worth it! Leaving your family on thanksgiving, seeing the unforgettable blood shed, and you managed to leave the mall with you kid’s X BOCKS and only getting it for $100. But then you realize, THEY’RE GREAT GREAT DEALS, RIGHT?????!!!!
No offense to any reader in intended… 

By: Reporter Emiliano N.

Hillarious New Mexico-ONLY pick up lines

In my opinion, these were so hilarious I just had to share them. I warn you, some are steriotypical and cheesy!

” Girl you are as special as Blakes; I can’t find you anywhere else.”

” You are as special as an albuquerque sunset.”

” I have VIP tickets… to the balloon fiesta”

” If beauty was a burrito, you would be Golden Pride.”

That is all! I just wanted to share these with my fellow jefferson students.


Top Ten Strangest Wikihow Articles

By: Journalist Amethyst G.

How to…

10.   Not be afraid of hot topic

“Remember! Hot Topic is just a store that uses red and black interior and very loud music. It is very normal. If you still feel uncomfortable, start easing up to it by going to darker stores. Keep getting darker until you’ve made it to Hot Topic level.” –Wikihow

  1. Eat a bowl of cereal


  1. Find out if your girlfriend is cheating on you (Sixth Graders)

If she giggles at Tommy’s joke then she definitely cheating on you.

  1.  Bring a pet rock to school without being caught.

This one is actually very helpful. If you want to bring your pet rock to school, here is a tip to make sure you don’t get in trouble.  “feel free to write your rocks name on it, so people do not mistake your rocky friend for a concealed weapon when you take him/her to school with you” This makes total sense! You obviously don’t want a teacher taking away your beloved Rocky because he/she thought it was a knife.

  1.  Play Hunger Games

Because who wouldn’t love to have the capitol shove them into an arena and be forced to fight to the death, right?

  1. Become the prettiest girl in school

Sooo…this exists.

  1. Be the prettiest boy in school

So does this.

  1. Preform an exorcism

“Watching the “Exorcist” movies are not valid guides for performing an exorcism”  but somehow Wikihow is…

  1. Pretend your life is a sitcom

Step 1: Make jokes

Step 2: have a non-realistic personality

Step 3: Do everything using only 3 sides of the room

Step 4: Have a family

Step 5: Contemplate your existence

  1.    1.   Get teens to stop using your farm for drinking and racing