Movie Horoscopes!

Written and predicted by Miss Good.

Aries March 21-April 19: Chronicles of Riddick – You are the future… but you have anger problems. This makes you question and fight society. You are full Of adrenaline and love an adventure. This causes lots of problems for you, but you always seem to find a great way around it.

Taurus, April 20-May 20: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty – You are bold and extraordinary like Walter Mitty, played by Ben Stiller. You have a hard time focusing on what is really important, but get the bigger job done.

Gemini, May 21-June 20: Mean Girls – You are all about what is going on with everyone else. You also love secrets but are horrible at keeping them. Even though you have some baggage everything works well in the end.

Cancer, June 21 – July 22: Pretty in Pink – You feel like you don’t fit in, much like Molly Ringwald. You are loving and caring at heart, but you have low self esteem. The peer pressure eats you up and you give in, but it all works out it the end.

Leo, July 23-August 22: The Bling Ring – You are bold and dramatic! You can be very self centered like The Bling Ring. You love a party and you want to be the center of attention at all times like a celebrity.

Virgo, August 23-September 22: The Fast and Furious series – You are fast paced, but with a edge. You can get anything done, but you tend to like the easy way better. You have a big heart, just like in the Fast and Furious series.

Libra, September 23- October 22: Robocop 3 – You balance both action and drama at the same time. The only problem, is that you are the worst of the trilogy. Some people love you, but in comparison to Robocop 1 you just fall behind. It is time to be born again as a new and improved Robocop!

Scorpio, October 23 – November 21: The King’s Speech – You are a life changer. You guide the world into a better time, but it’s NOT easy, to say the least. You stand out, which is great in the long run, but you may feel hopeless now.

Sagittarius, November 22 – December 21: Little Mermaid – You are very sweet and heart felt. You get yourself into very dangerous situations and always seem to make the wrong choice. No matter how much trouble you cause you always have someone there to help you.

Capricorn, – December 22 – January 19: V for Vendetta – You’re extremely intelligent, but you are very secretive, which puts the ones you love in dangerous situations. You have a mission to fix everyone else’s problems, and ignore your own. In the end, you always get hurt… but at least your mission was a success.

Aquarius, January 20 – February 18: The Breakfast Club – You are very simple at times… but you are, nonetheless a life changer. You are a leader, but are called boring because you are very … straight to the point. You are the leader of many others like you.

Pisces, February 19 – March 20: Breakfast at Tiffany’s – You have everything you need, but not everything you want. Your mood varies from hot to cold, but you always seem to be in control. You have the life that every girl wants… you are just too blind to see it. You are over cautious – you need to take a chance like Audrey Hepburn.

HOROSCOPES! Zombie Apocalypse Edition 9.13.14

This Week’s Question:  What role would you play in a zombie apocalypse?

             Aries, March 21- April 19:
 Engineer- You make gadgets and gizmos to make your group feel more secure. Whether it’s a nuclear weapon or a high tech security gate, they name it and you can build it.
            Taurus, April 20- May 20:  Warrior- You can kick butt like nobody’s business! You protect your group and will go to any length to make sure they’re safe. In a battle, you’d pin down a filthy, rotten corpse in 3 seconds flat.

             Gemini, May 21- June 20: Extra #2– Sadly, you get eaten within the first 18 hours of being acquainted with your group. You weren’t much help anyways…

             Cancer, June 21- July 22:  Homemaker- You keep the group grounded when it gets crazy, kind of like a parent figure. You remind people to keep their sanity and without you, people would be eating each other… and i’m not talking about the zombies.

             Leo, July 23- August 22: Helpless adolescents- You hide a lot. You are currently still learning how to use weapons because the closest thing you’ve ever had is a Nerf gun. The group protects you because, after all, you’re just a helpless little Carl…erm…I mean kid.

              Virgo, August 23- September 22: Nurse- You rehabilitate people back to health with a truck load of antibiotics…well you try anyways.

             Libra, September 23- October 22: Forager- You search for anything you can find. Half used batteries? you can use those, Box of old granola bars? HECK YEAH! You also look out for dead animals that aren’t infected so you can feed your group. R.I.P Clifford, you will be missed.

             Scorpio, October 23- November 21: Leader- You guide the group. What are we gonna do next? asks Leo.Well you know! You always have a plan, and even if you don’t, you sure do look like you do.

            Sagittarius, November 22- December 21: Crazy old person- Why are you even here? How do you help the group? HOW ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE?!?!?!? so many questions, so little time.

           Capricorn, December 22January 19:  Logical Thinker- You are the second in command. You help the leader figure out his game plan. You are especially useful because of your knowledge and intelligence.

           Aquarius, January 20- February 18: Scientist- You try to find a cure for this weird disease. You collect data and and samples for research. If this were GhostBusters, you’d be Egon Spengler.

          Pisces, February 19- March 20:Security- You keep watch on top of your groups shelter. There’s no way a zombie is getting through your defense! Anyone who dares come close, you’ll sharp shoot.

Written by Gal

HOROSCOPES!

Aries, March 21-April 19: Watermelon Arizona Tea: You are creative and insightful in all the right ways. You may be quick to anger, and impatient. Aries are awkward at times but once acquainted, they can be a real socialist.

Taurus, April 20-May 20: Red Bull: You are energetic and bold but you can be over controlling. You are stubborn by nature. You are very understanding for others problems and very generous.

Gemini, May 21-June 20: Lemonade: You can be very secretive but are horrible to keep a secret. You may be sweet or sour in your moods. You can be very affectionate and imaginative.

Cancer, June 21 – July 22: Sprite: You love and care for many people. You may have low self esteem, but you are loyal and sympathetic toward friends.

Leo, July 23-August 22:  Hot Cocoa: You’re bold and can be dramatic at times. You tend to be self-centered, but you are also very charming.

Virgo, August 23-September 22:  Decaf Coffee: You pay a LOT of attention to detail. You’re always busy and never take time off for yourself. Virgos are gentle, kind, and great caregivers.

Libra, September 23- October 22: Mountain Dew: You are very well balanced and you surround yourself with superior beings. You may go on extreme sugar binges.

Scorpio, October 23 – November 21: Cherry Coke: You have amazing control and power in the world.  You are very bold, but you have very low self esteem.

Sagittarius, November 22 – December 21: Diet Pepsi: You may be considered as a protagonist, but you work well with little time. You are a loyal friend and lover.

Capricorn,  – December 22 – January 19: Milk: You are very intelligent, but you can be a control freak at times. You can have many problems and are very secretive about them.

Aquarius, January 20 – February 18: Water: You are very simplistic, and productive. It is very hard for you to make friends at times. Without you the world would not work.

Pisces, February 19 – March 20: Hot Apple Cider: You are very determined and unselfish. You can be very gullible at times and over cautious. You can be very passionate toward friends.

Written By Miss Good

Edited By Gal

Weekly Horoscope: Week of 11.18/11.22.13

Written by: Alan M.

Today’s Weekly Horoscope topic will be: T.V. Shows.  Which T.V. show would you be according to your personality that I just completely make up?  Ready? No? Too bad, let’s go.

 Aquarius: Your show would be: “Naruto,” children of all ages loved you, although you were a bit slow at times, you were at the top, until Shippuden came out and you just got overtaken by Full Metal Alchemist, those jerks, again you remind yourself to yell at them later.

 Pisces: Your show will be: “FullMetal Alchemist,” you were a hit with every Anime watcher, you overtook many shows like Naruto, and you were great, until your main character died! (weeping in corner.)

 Aries: Your show will be: “Xiaolin Showdown,” you were a fantastic T.V. show who remained in most people’s childhood, although some may not remember you, and you may have gone a bit too far with your newer series “Xiaolin Chronicles,” but nobody’s complaining

 Taurus: Your show will be: “Sesame Street,” although you were a decent T.V. show that everybody knows, and never forgets, you get made fun of a lot, although referenced a lot, even by adults.  Elmo will be with us forever.

 Gemini: Your show is: “Doctor Who,” you are loved beyond nations with the incredible ability to never end!  Your continuous regenerating Doctor is known worldwide, but Ten is better, Ten is always better. (Opinion by Author)

 Cancer: Your show will be: “The Muppet Show,”  you were always superior to Sesame Street, always, dumb other show, you then remind yourself to yell at Sesame Street later (Reader can participate to start the Muppets V Sesame Street showdown.)

 Leo: Your show will be: “Tom And Jerry.”  You are known worldwide by both children and adults to be one of the greatest T.V shows in Cartoon Network before it became horrible. So we thank you, but why, oh why did Cartoon Network make a new show of you?

 Virgo: Your show will be: “Teen Titans.”  You were a fantastic show with amazing characters and plot, although some may disagree, you are an Anime, and you always will be, you remind yourself to provei t by showing up at people who doubt you’s doors with your trusty chainsaw, (Readers, please don’t do this.)

 Libra: Your show will be: “Law and Order:  Criminal Justice,” and since your writer doesn’t know anything about this show, please tell me about it in the comments section, why did I put this here? so you have to participate, have to (Evil laugh)

 Scorpio: Your show will be: “Breaking Bad,” and you were a show adored by millions and one even filmed in this writer’s hometown. You were loved, until you ended. (Heisenberg, noooooooo!!!!!)

Sagittarius: Your show will be: “My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.”  You were MLP for all of those brony’s out there (Shoutout : I hate you all (just kidding, pleas don’t hurt me)) and for unknown reasons known only by this writer.

 Capricorn: Your show will be:  “The Walking Dead.”  You were one of the best shows by AMC and have been adored worldwide.  You incorporate the much used zombie survival theme to its best, but your game was pretty bad.