Hello guys! Sorry I’ve been gone from the top ten column for so long, but this time I’m back with an article that’s more exciting-er, more cool-er, and more stupid-er than anything I’ve written in the past. Enjoy!
TOP TEN THINGS TO NOT WRAP IN BACON
#10: A 70-FOOT LONG CLUB SANDWICH
I don’t think they even sell these at Subway, but unless you want to look like something out of the “wafer-thin-mint” Monty Python sketch, don’t eat a 70 foot long sandwich covered in bacon.
#9: A Pinecone
Tasty, but slightly inedible.
#8: A DVD box set of “NOVA”
While educational, I highly doubt that this would make a tasty treat. The crunch is not, despite what your parents have told you, a sign of good food.
#7: A piece of broccoli.
Why waste perfectly good bacon by wrapping it around a vegetable?
#6: A Hydrogen Bomb
Why waste those perfectly good teeth of yours by cracking them on some sort of steel thing. Also, it may go off, and no-one wants that.
#5: Your Dachshund Hound
Those tiny dogs could easily be mistaken for another piece of bacon! It’s not your fault…
#4: A piece of Lead Piping
As an added disadvantage, you also get lead poisoning.
#3: A Human Femur.
Do I really need to explain this?
#2: A professional basketball player
Or Kevin Bacon — I mean Durant goes for the dunk!
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU SHOULD NOT WRAP IN BACON…
#1: Your Grandmother.
I think this would result in some very funny scenarios involving your grandmother and a pig farm.
**NOTE: Doing any of these may result in very interesting questions from your psychiatrist, who you covered in bacon.**
Hope you enjoyed, guys! Until next time!
The image above can be found on a thorough guide to bacon…