Weekly Horoscope of 12.13.13

Today is Friday the 13th. A perfect day to make you a fictional serial killer. Who needs joy and christmas cheer? lets get some movie serial killers here. Its a shame I didn’t do this on Halloween, you may yell at me in the comments. (the Jeffersonian does not condone any kind of killing, This is merely for your and Alan’s entertainment (that sick kid)) So lets go!

 

 Aquarius: For this Friday the thirteenth, you will be Jason. We had to have Jason here, since his movie is actually named “Friday the Thirteenth”. And because I am lazy.

 Pisces: For this Friday the thirteenth, you will be Freddy Krueger. Although his scary movie was “A Nightmare on Elm Street” he had been famous for his amazing movies and remakes of the same thing. Yay!

 Aries: For this Friday the thirteenth you will be Chucky. Yes! We all know we love this little doll, his cute little orange hair and stuff, we had to have him on this list because of his popularity on all of his “Chucky” movies! like “child’s play”

 Taurus: For this Friday the thirteenth you will be Hannibal Lecter. To stay in the theme of this horoscope, this cunning and evil Cannibal will be who you are today.

 Gemini: For this Friday the thirteenth you will be the guy from ATM.  There is no escape because this guy is a genius.  Get ready to die. (special credit to Sami R for coming up with this guy)(comment from Alan “who is this guy?”)

 Cancer: For this Friday the thirteenth you will be  Leatherface. He is the killer from “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. He is usually really loud and proud with his chainsaw, and really slow, apparently all of his victims trip. A lot.

 Leo: For this Friday the thirteenth you will be Pinhead. Although this author doesn’t know much about him, he seems to be famous for “Hellraiser”

 Virgo: For this Friday the thirteenth you will be Micheal Myers. Your prefer to chase people with your knife, and your victims seem to have the same physical ability as the ones from Chainsaw Massacre.

 Libra: For this Friday the thirteenth you will be Norman Bates: anybody who crosses you better watch out in your movie “Phsyco” especially in shower scenes.

 Scorpio: For this Friday the thirteenth you will be Jigsaw. You usually torture your victims in your iconic movies “Saw”. You seem to be the only killer with a moral.

 Sagittarius: For this Friday the thirteenth you will be Jack Torrance from “The Shining”. Again, I don’t know about  this killer. You should tell me in the comments how dumb I am.

 Capricorn: For this Friday the thirteenth you will be The Blob. Who isn’t afraid of a giant red jello monster from space? Cmon.

I leave you with my plans for your Friday the thirteenth. (good luck!)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s