Weekly Horoscope

In light of today, Friday the 15th, while all of us students in Key’s, Logan’s, and Kaestner’s have test, we will find out what study habits you have, and how you will do on the GREAT HOROSCOPE EXAM. Which is something I just made up, let’s see what kind of test-taker you are!

Disclaimer: These test scores mean nothing, I merely made this up and I do not like one sign better than the other. I see  you all as equals.

Aquarius: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: 90! Even though you didn’t study at all, you got better than most people on the test due to your natural gift of knowledge (this is also why all of your friends hate you).

Pisces: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: 70! Although you studied very much and couldn’t get the test down, you just take it all out on Aquarius (which makes you feel semi better).

Aries: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: 80! You did a decent amount of studying but you still didn’t do as good as Aquarius, man you hate that guy.

Taurus: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: 60! You were TOTALLY too busy to study, you were out hanging with your friends, driving around town, robbing stores…. wait no, you were just busy playing GTA V.

Gemini: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: 99! Wow, you got the best score here, although your study habits were questionable (as in you just played GTA V with Taurus, procrastinating, and spent all night in a frenzy of caffeine and left-over halloween candy).

Cancer: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: 95! After an extensive night of watching How I Met Your Mother online, you forgot about the quiz and merely yelled at the teacher until he gave you a better score. (Please leave me alone now).

Leo: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: 50! You don’t really care about this test! Your fandom is about to end and you need to stop it! By sitting in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth.

Virgo: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: 95! Wait, you got the same as Cancer? Well you accomplished this by helping him/her yell at the teacher along with your convincing chainsaw.

Libra: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: 30! Somehow you got the lowest score of the group, but who cares about tests? Really all you care about is you shipping wall!

Scorpio: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: Wait, you were absent… (since neither you or anyone else cares about this exam, you just went home and made fun of Twilight to your friends).

Sagittarius: Your score on the Great Horoscope Exam is: wait you were absent too? Does nobody take this test seriously? I didn’t even know being absent for this was possible!

Capricorn: You just didn’t do the test, and you used the excuse “I left it at home” even though that isn’t possible….

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