Zombie Story: Andrew, Day One

Editor’s Note: I am forgetful. The Print Jeffersonian is stupid for trusting me. I will now try to publish these zombie stories everyday from now on.

By: Jeffersonian Print Staff

Edited By: Metrica

Ever felt alone? Not like what you normally feel emotionally when someone is ignoring you childishly, but like when you are left in a room for hours without anyone with you. You become paranoid, frightened, and you get that “sick to your stomach” feeling. I have had that feeling for four days. My name is Andrew, and I think I’m going to die.

I’ve been “The Nerd” since 3rd grade, when people started calling me a nerd and stuffing me into lockers. I wasn’t a nerd though, in fact I wasn’t into any geeky things, was a C average student, and played football. But I looked like the nerdiest nerd on the planet. I had glasses, braces, wore plaid shirts, and even had those stereotypical “nerd pants” that went too far up my torso. The name stuck, and I am still today “ The Nerd”. This led me to become a complete social outcast; other kids wouldn’t even let me play football with them. What did I do? I became the only thing society would accept me as: a nerd. I got all A’s, became a total geeky fan boy to shows like Star Trek and books like Ender’s Game. If I was going to be a nerd, than I would be the best at being a nerd.

Ha, that all seems stupid now, but the advantage of being smart is that I know I’m trying to look back at my life and feel accomplished. It’s evolutionary idea; one has more desire to live if they believe that they have completed their mission to the human race and their genes. Just today an experiment gone wrong at Los Alamos Labs, where I interned under Dr. Ben Cornelia, caused the release of a Zombitosis virus as the good Dr. Cornelia feared.

That day at school we were being taught political lessons when the Zombitosis reached our school. I ran to the library thinking of the lockable doors, the valuable information in books, and computer connection to the outside world. The Zombitosis have been clawing at those doors for a whole day, the only food I have I am conserving. I have no weapons training, the Internet has gone dead in this area, and I am slowly dying. Things didn’t go so well for that plan.

The only places I have access to are the science lab, the librarian’s office and the door leading me to a zombified life of the dead. Well, at least I have books. The books and this journal are going to keep me from going insane, the steel doors and barricades and locks I have placed, plus my hiding technique will keep me alive, for now. But I will run out of food in 3 days. I need help, fast. I heard gunshots out the window this morning, which helps me deduce that some people are still alive, or the zombitosis virus had developed weaponry skills (the chance of that is about 1.2% though, so I’m not that scared).

I have to find a way out of here. If I am correct, people will be attempting to evacuate across the Pacific, I have to go with them. The chance of survival here is about 24%. That’s not enough, in Asia we will be able to escape the virus, or at least have time to prepare before they arrive there. The science lab has some chemistry equipment I could use, and for the sake of calculation I’m going to write here some calculations

Na + H2O = Positive chemical reaction

Na + H2O + Bunsen Burner = Even more positive chemical reaction

Okay, I’ve got the sketch in my head, Lead pipe with water inside and lid on top and ends. This will allow me to input the sodium and water at the top, I can then use concentrated spray can filled with oxygen to propel the sodium out of the tube and through a Bunsen Burner’s flame. The resulting projectile should explode after a few seconds, easily burning weak zombie flesh.  I’ll have to work on this all night, but it will be worth it if I can escape.

Destination: The Roundhouse, NM capitol building and most protected site in the state. It will have what I need to survive. I’ll bring this USB for more journaling later. Even if I know it’s an evolutionary instinct, I won’t leave this plane of existence without a legacy.

-Andrew J.


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