Ben’s Magical Comedy Column: Color

Whether it is on your television, or on your shirt, color adds a whole new spectrum to things. Color has paved the way for many important subjects like: fashion, advertising, and vitamin supplements. Color has also been found to make computer screens look better! However, many people worry that some colors might be more powerful than others.

Many people fear that the colors black and white may soon take over the world again. These people usually cite convincing video evidence showing that the world was, at one point, in black and white. Recently the other colors have fought back and have regained their presence in our field of vision, but new evidence is showing a slow return of black and white. “You know those things called penguins? They are like, all black and white. My latest research has proven that they once caused the destruction of all other colors with the help of their leader, Charlie Chaplin,” says Rymee Rotan. Rotan is a leading researcher in the field of color theory. “I persuade that all children do their best to eliminate this threat to color by contributing to global warming. Once we get rid of those evil color-stealing penguins we can finally enjoy our amazing world of color.”

Rotan encourages kids to enjoy the world of color while it lasts. “With all those ‘environmental’ groups protecting those all powerful penguins, there is only a slim chance that Charlie Chaplin won’t be reincarnated and the world will not be taken over by black and white. I recommend that children go outside, eat a few bugs, and take in as much color as possible. My calculations have shown that in about 99 years, on the date 12/21, that Charlie Chaplin will rise from the dead and destroy all other colors. So have fun! Play and respect your school authority!”

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