By: Ben H.
Unlike its counterpart, meat, fruit has a bad reputation around Jefferson Middle School. When a child notices fruit while idly sliding his lunch tray down the lane of the “Hot Foods” line, he/she does not rejoice. More often than not, the child attempts to ignore the side option. Only when the lunch ladies cajole the child to eat the certain “delicacy” do the children ever put it upon their tray.
In the non-school world, usually a child will eagerly pick fruit. Fruit is most often regarded as a sanctuary in the world of bitter, “healthy” food. What child in their right mind would drink V-8 over a cup of juice? So, how does the cafeteria get it wrong?
The big reason: presentation. Let’s compare the cafeteria with McDonald’s. Both places serve horrible food, however, McDonald’s has much better presentation than the Jefferson cafeteria. For example, the cafeteria often forgets to scrape the mold off of their items, whereas McDonald’s recycles their mold to make hamburger patties. I hypothesize that, if the cafeteria either recycled their mold, or covered it up by using cheesy cartoons, the consumption of fruit would increase dramatically.
I propose the use of cheesy cartoons, and the cheesiest cartoons always use clowns: just look at McDonald’s. Their ad campaign relies on a creepy, horror-movie weirdo, who constantly encourages kids to eat ‘healthy’ chicken nuggets and drink magical milk jugs. Nevertheless, this campaign works incredibly for them. My new clown, the Cool Clutz Clown, will most definitely increase the consumption of fruit in the cafeteria, if used in a proper McDonald’s-like form.
Sadly, the implementation of such a cartoon would probably end up with a response like this:
(see Part Two of this fascinating column next week in/on the online Jefferson!)