By: Eli G.
This week’s special feature: Twilight, the worst book in the world.
Taurus: This week: You spend 20 conflicted hours in your room pondering the ever powerful question that could change the world: Jacob, or Edward?
Gemini: This week: You remark to the entire world (this is gonna be bad) that some people disapprove of the twilight series.
Cancer: This week: You hate blood, blood bad, hisssssssss, hisssssssss.
Leo: This week: To improve team pro-unicorns population you start the unicornight series, unicorners, or anti-unicorners.
Virgo: This week: You read the first unicornight book and start an online blog site about how much it sucks (buh dum, pish)
Libra: This week: Are there any fire monsters in twilight? No? Well, werewolves are more flammable so… TEAM JACOB.
Scorpio: This week: You predict that the ending of the book series will suck just as much as the rest of the twilight series. (Boom! A pun and a burn. (leo would love the burn part.))
Sagittarius: This week: Week three of sugarpocalypse, you invest in blood too just in case you become a vampire who thinks blood tastes like sugar.
Capricorn: This week: THE, TWILIGHT, SERIES, SUCKS! YOU SPENT 20 BUCKS ON ONE OF THOSE BOOKS!!! AGHHHHGHHGHGG!!!
Aquarius: This week: Authors earn money, you publish your own sequel to the unicornight book 1.
Pisces: This week: Jacob doesn’t seem so tough, seriously, you can take that doggy. He’s not even a cute dog.
Aries: This week: You stand in a neutral position on the twilight books, and are hated for it.