Horoscopes for Friday Sept 12

Sorry for the wait faithful Jeffersonian Readers. With the stories from Mr. Key’s class keeping us busy, we don’t have much time for the regular Jeffersonian posts. BUT… Here are some more Horoscopes!!!! Enjoy. (Jimmy turn that nonexistent music down. Can’t you see they’re trying to read??)

Taurus: I get to read the topic today?? That’s totally fab!!! Okay… Who’s Jimmy???

Gemini: Oh… That nonexistent guy. Seems a little… Nonexistent don’t you think?

Cancer: Totally. Somebody called me nonexistent once. I felt it man. I feel Jimmy’s Pain. PEOPLE CARE MAN!!

Leo: Jimmy is a unicorn knight in shining donuts!!! YAY!!!

Virgo: I can’t take this much longer!!! Aghhhhhh!!!

Libra: Let’s burn his shiny donut armor to the ground. I can already smell the burned metal donut.

Scorpio: I had a prophetic dream about burning donuts… Still an oracle!!!

Sagittarius: Donuuts, sugaar. MMMMMM…

Capricorn: Why are we spelling doughnuts donuts??? lets get back on topic. Jimmy is cool with me.

Aquarius: How much would it cost to hire an assistant like Jimmy? Precious money!!! precious…

Pisces: Aghhh would Jimmy stop with that stupid nonexistent music!!!! RARRR!!

Aries: Save me… whimper* Ummm. Were done here… Back to Jimmy. What do you mean you’re nonexistent just say something!!


Aries: Words of wisdom from the master. That changed my life. (Sobs*) Thanks for reading… Bye.


2 thoughts on “Horoscopes for Friday Sept 12

  1. Hello from a Jefferson alum! Just a bit of constructive criticism here- I’m liking the fact that we’re continuing the horoscopes on the lovely Jeffersonian, but this year’s batch of them seem like a collection of random, funny sentences. That’s not what I’m complaining about – I made a cartoonisty “career” off the same stuff – but I think it would improve the horoscopes to include some actual predictions of the future, not just silly quips. But keep up the humor!

    • Thanks for the input!! Of course we will continue to predict the future… But jimmy will have to stay. (The Public Loves Him.)

      Good to hear from a retired jet! Thanks again – Jeffersonian staff.

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