Analogies of a Newly-Anointed Sophomore: A JMS 2011 Grad Speaks

I am a high-schooler, and an alum of Jefferson Middle School.  I just completed my freshman year and celebrated with my colleagues on our ascent to sophomore year.  I have always thought of the passage of school years in terms of foot racing, and I have contrasted their distance-run nature with that of a sprint.  But this year something was different.  At the end of this year, as I walked out the school doors and biked away, I didn’t feel the same as previous years.  This year hadn’t been a race.  There was no finish line to cross, no exuberant joy of achievement.  It felt almost like the year had been too long.

It had, it had been too long.  180 days too long.  Far too long for even the longest distance run.  It had been a slow and grueling walk, sometimes it was even a crawl.  The end of the year was the completion of my – of our – stroll through freshman year.  I had expected a great milestone to greet us, to come to our view and exalt our glory, but none ever appeared.  Why?  Why do I feel no euphoria?  Why don’t I feel like I’ve crossed a finish line?  Where is my milestone?

But now I see it.  Now I see it in every day of the year.  Perhaps this is what the “real world” is.  There’s no finish line feeling because the end was never the destination.  No milestone because this isn’t any place worth noting.  To us it feels impossible at times, but we’ve only completed what about everybody on Earth is able to complete: freshman year.  And what have we found?  I can tell you what I’ve found.  I’ve found that the milestone was not at the end, but it’s grandeur was implanted in every one of the million pebbles I passed on my walk here.  I can see it now.  All the memories in every second of every day.  Some friendships developed, some deteriorated.  Some relationships were born, some died.  Every day, every second we were breaking new ground, be it intellectually, interpersonally, or emotionally.

Our Rome was not built in a day.  But there is a most important day: the first day.  If you think about it, every day’s work requires the work of all the previous days.  Therefore, the first day, which supports the most other days, is the most important.  My finish line isn’t here because the end is the important part.  There has never been a destination, it’s always been about beginning and going through this journey.  The important things I’ve learned today can be summed up in these two quotes:

 

“Don’t worry that it won’t be perfect, just worry that it won’t be.”

Company, by Stephen Sondheim

 

“Spirit is the journey, body is the bus, I am the driver from dust to dust.”

-Johnny Clegg

 

Have a great summer, all.

Horoscopes for the Week of May 18 2012

Editor’s Note: I apologize for the lateness of these horoscopes.  Yesterday one of the wonderful editors if the Jeffersonian left yesterday and the stars and I were saying good bye.  This will be the last horoscope of the year from this star reader but it has been a great year!

Taurus: This is the best painting I have ever seen.  It’s beautiful.  The way that the colors blend together.  It makes me want to laugh and cry, at the same time.  What do you mean that’s a wall with nothing but white paint on it?  It’s still beautiful…

Gemini: Does anyone know what time it is?  I have no clue what time it is.  No, I don’t have a watch if I did would I be asking you what time it is?  the one you got me for my birthday?  I sold that one to a hobo for a french fry.

Cancer: Hey do you know when this is thing is due?  I’m almost done with but I can’t for the life of me remember when it was due.  It was due three weeks ago?  Are you sure?  Where was I? Huh, weird.

Leo: La la la la la!!!!!!! I really want a llama!!!! Is that an ice cream cone?  Can I have a jelly bean? Do you know where unicorns live?? I wonder if you can lick your elbow… I just checked, you can’t.  Is that an ice cream cone?

Virgo: I swear to god that i didn’t do anything to Leo.  He’s just like that naturally.  If you think that was bad you should try living with him…

Libra: Why can’t we be friends?  I didn’t do anything to you!! That was your house I burned down last Friday? Ooops… Sorry, I guess…

Scorpio:I had a dream about you last night… It was totaly bizarre. You were purple and had glitter fly out of your mouth.  I was flying around screaming something about ponies.  But yeah that was my dream.  Weird, right?  What do you mean that actually happened last night?

Sagittarius: Afro, circus, afro, circus, afro, circus, polka dot, polka dot, polka dot, afro…  Sing to the circus theme song!!!!!!

Capricorn: Sagittarius have you eaten any sugar recently?? I’m really worried about the fact that your singing about polka dots and afros together…

Aquarius:  the next time you see me, you won’t recognize me!! Now close your eyes!  No! You opened your eyes to soon! I couldn’t change that fast! Close them again! You did it again!! ARRGGGGGGG!!!!!

Pisces: Can we go now?  I’m dieing of boredom.  We’ve been waiting around, for her, for hours!! It’s so stupid!!! I don’ care if this is my wedding!!! She needs to hurry up!  That’s it I’m out of here!

Aries: I’ll let you know when I feel better.  It might not be for awhile though, just to let you know…  I really don’t feel that well.  I hope it’s nothing serious…  That would totally suck if it turned out that i was deathly ill.  Well I guess this is good bye…  Hey wait!  I feel better now!

My Family is So…

My family is so crazy that not even cats want to stay with us.

My family is so crazy that not even Charles Manson will allow us to be apart of his cult.

My family is so awkward that not even awkward turtle knows what to do around us.

My family is so awkward that when we shout inappropriate things no one notices because they think it’s normal.

My family is so weird that even the Griswolds want to go on vacation with us.

My family is so weird that Lady Gaga comes to us for fashion advice.

My family is so creepy that even creepers stay away from us.

My family is so creepy that the little kids in horror movies come to us for acting advice.

My family is so bizarre that we were kicked out of the side show for freaking out the performers.

My family is bizarre that we make trapezoids look normal.

My family is so annoying that even annoying orange can’t stand us.

My family is so annoying that we have to cook our own food at the restaurant because the staff don’t want to deal with us.

My family is so weird that they based Inception off of our dreams.

My family is so weird that all the aliens in movies were based off our family members.

My family is so odd that Hot Topic bases their clothing lines off of us.

My family is so odd that they got the sets from Mystery Theater 3000 from our house.

My family is so ridiculous that not even Cee Low Green likes us.

My family is ridiculous that the Muppets get their skits from our life experiences.

My family is so weird that we do Effie Trinkets make up.

My family is so weird that Mormons base their religion off of us.

My family is so bizarre that we order sardines on our pizza.

My family is so freaky that we eat fish and chips for breakfast.

My family is many things but whatever they are I still love them because I have no choice.

My Soul Mate

Editors Note: This is a poem by a student last year.

By Emily

My soul mate is amazing.

My soul mate is so amazing, that Chuck Norris can’t even find him.

My soul mate is so amazing, when he goes to Rome the Romans talk like him.

My soul mate is so amazing, he doesn’t have to be a vampire to sparkle.

My soul mate  is so amazing, all of the Beatles love songs are about my soul mate.

My soul mate is so amazing, when he got picked for the Hunger Games, they didn’t even hold a contest.

My soul mate is so amazing, he can bend the space-time continuum.

My soul mate is so amazing, he can wear dark colored socks and light colored sandals together.  And look good.

My soul mate is so amazing, he wouldn’t care if our grandson wore a dog collar.

My soul mate is so amazing, if he sung a Justin Beiber song, it would sound good.

My soul mate is so amazing, he went back in time, trained a dinosaur, and now keeps it as a pet.

My soul mate is so amazing, in America he throws party’s, in Soviet Russian he still throws party’s.

My soul mate is so amazing, that my dad doesn’t even bring his gun out on the first date.

My soul mate is so amazing, he built Led Zeppelins stairway to heaven.

My soul mate is so amazing, he taught LMFAO how to shuffle.

My soul mate is so amazing, he doesn’t have to finish his sentences like everyone thinks they will octopus.

My soul mate is so amazing, even 12/21/2012 can’t kill him.

My soul mate is so amazing, he can make Pluto a planet again.

My soul mate is so amazing, he can actually see Russia in his backyard.

My soul mate is so amazing, he is like Batman, except no one criticizes him for not having powers.

My soul mate is so amazing, he can get a Snooki bump and a tan, and not look like an oompa loompa.

My soul mate is so amazing, when the giant spider on the wall disappears, he doesn’t care.

My soul mate is so amazing, he doesn’t need Opera.

My soul mate is so amazing, that on Nightmare on Elm Street, he gave Freddy Krueger nightmares.

My soul mate is so amazing, Miami Heat can’t beat him.

My soul mate is so amazing, he actually understands Inception.