Horoscope for the Week of February 24th

Editor’s Note: Our normal, wonderful horoscope writer is not here today. I, the other editor, will be writing them…

Pisces:  So you know those voices you have been hearing? Well the stars tell me that your problems are about to end! Your mom has finally renewed your medication!

Aries: Remember that fish you ate last night? Well his friends are coming after you!! Avoid water! RUN!!

Taurus: You have finally figured out the meaning of life! It is… Wait.. Can you share it with us?

Gemini: Since your iPhone has been acting up lately, you take it to the Verizon store.. When they can’t fix it, you realize the whole world is out to get you! Or maybe it’s just from the time you dropped it in the toilet!

Cancer: Remember that bet you made a couple of months ago about not getting anything on your white pants? Well… I would go look in a mirror…

Leo: You will finally learn to count to 10! Woo hoo!

Virgo: Rainbows! Glitter! Lets go dance in circles!! The Unicorns will join us!! 

Libra: Addicted to Temple Run? Don’t worry! We, the stars, are too!

Scorpio: Remember that sandwich  your mom put in your back for lunch? Oh that was three weeks ago? And you could never find it? Well you’re about to…

Sagittarius: Your online journal entry about your crush? It didn’t save? And you can’t find it in your drafts? Well, I would check your Facebook page..

Capricorn: Excited for the Hunger Games? Well make sure to buy your tickets! But leave the costume at home…

Aquarius: Get new socks. We can smell your current pair from here.

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