Why “Grumoe” Should be a Word
By Miranda R.
It was a calm summer morning. I sat quietly on the rug, with one goal–to create words. The shaking of lettered cubes could be heard. At last the cubes settled, and my younger sister turned over a timer. Four pairs of eyes began to focus on the arrangement of lettered cubes, and nothing could be heard but the scratching of pencils on paper. My pencil, respectively, was fairly quiet.
Sixteen English letters sat in front of me, but they did not appear to spell anything. Then, out of luck, my eyes darted over to a curious arrangement of cubes. Grumoe. It was, in a non-hyperbolic tone, pure genius. I quickly scribbled it down.
Unfortunately, my moment of triumph was soon crushed. It was confirmed that “Grumoe”, though having a very nice spelling, was technically not a word.
Technically. I have proposed a few ideas that could make “Grumoe” a part of the obnoxious English language.
The definition of “grum” is, morose or glum. The definition of “oe” is (copied and pasted) n. Abbr. Oe
The centimeter-gram-second electromagnetic unit of magnetic intensity, equal to the magnetic intensity one centimeter from a unit magnetic pole. Now, if we combine the two…
Grumoe: n. 1. a depressed magnetic unit of measurement of some sort 2. another word for a rabid badger with commitment issues.
“Grumoe” would make an excellent name. The time when their new baby enters the world is one of the happiest moments for couples (beaten only by the thrill of buying a new Mercedes). My advice is to not waste is with regular names. Try “Grumoe” instead. It’s catchy, it’s unique, it’s elegant, and most of all, it’s Grumoe.
If the previously mentioned ideas don’t catch on, “Grumoe” could be used as a commonly used slang word for a 2-pint strawberry-banana smoothie with extra whipped cream and 45 maraschino cherries. This would greatly increase ordering efficiency in smoothie shops worldwide.
If all else fails, “Grumoe” could be used by middle schoolers as a word that literally translates into “that person next to you who has an IQ of 3 and smells like the locker room in May”. I hope it doesn’t come to this.
Thank you for wasting your time by reading this article, and have a good day.
Grumoe shall be a word.