A Cat’s Day

By Miranda R.

Note from the author: This is the story of an average day in my cat Tilly’s life. Thank goodness cats can’t talk.

5:00 a.m.
Grrr! Another rude awakening by a crow! I need my beauty sleep!

5:01 a.m.
SHUT UP, DUMB CROW!

5:04 a.m.
Well, trying to get the crows to be quiet is a lost cause, so I might as well get up and bother a few humans.

5:05 a.m.
All of the humans seem to be asleep, so I guess I’ll clean myself. Wow, licking my fur is SO FUN! I must be so beautiful now. Everybody can’t help but love me, including myself. After all, I am the center of attention at all times.

6:32 a.m.
Hey! The humans are awake and in the kitchen! Maybe they’ll feed me!

6:33 a.m.
Awh, they’re ignoring me! Meow! MEOW! Um, hello? I’m supposed to be the center of attention, I’m the furry animal, and I’m HUNGRY! Feed me, or at least acknowledge my presence!

6:40 a.m.
Finally, food! Although, on the downside, it turns out to be the gross kind. None of THAT for me thank you very much.

6:47 a.m.
Wait! Are my excellent senses lying to me? I’m not dreaming! It really is the miraculous miracle of cheese! I need some right this minute!

6:48 a.m.
Meow! Meow! I want some of that cheese! Hey!! Oh, I am so insulted. If the cheese handler was 20 times smaller and didn’t have opposable thumbs, I would attack them!

7:49 a.m.
Aha! I have found a nice, warm place to sleep. Naptime!

12:03 p.m.
Hmm. I’m hungry.

5:25 p.m.
Ahh. That was a good nap. Hey, nobody’s paying attention to me! Pet me! I’m a cute furry thing! I am far more important than that Game boy!

6:54 p.m.
Oh boy, feeding time! I love wet cat food. Mmm.

7:38 p.m.
Oh look, the human wants to come stroke me. How nice. WAIT, NO! I’M BEING CUDDLED! I MUST ESCAPE THIS TORTURE!

7:59 p.m.
I want to go outside to watch birds and look totally bored and uninterested in them. Meow!

8:00 p.m.
I want to go inside.

8:01 p.m.
I want to go outside.

8:02 p.m.

I want to go inside.

8:09 p.m.
Now I can finally go to sleep. Either that or go to a meeting with my secret cat friends over eradicating the human race. Yeah, I think I’m going to go with sleeping.

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11 thoughts on “A Cat’s Day

  1. haha!! This is spot on!! Well done!

    *Laughs at my cat attacking her tail while asleep on… Hey, wait, is that my pillow?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?*

  2. Yes, Ivan, because my cats (Snowie the fat one and Hobbes the…thing) and Tilly have perfect grammar and have appeared on Wheel of Fortune many times.

    • 1)I quite agree with Ivan. Firstly, its difficult to understand some of the comments on this site. And secondly, it reflects quite poorly on your intellect.

      2) What difference does it make if your cats have perfect grammar? I strongly doubt that they’re literate, and if they could speak I doubt they’d be allowed on a TV game show. Could you please explain what the point of your comment was?

  3. Actually, I have no idea whatsoever if my cat secretly reads grammar books at night or not. And, if I’m ever on Jeopardy, I will bring Tilly with me.

  4. This conversation makes no sense. Oh, well, as a fellow nerd, I understand that we deserve the right to have random and intense conversations about cat’s grammar.

  5. Correct me if I’m wrong but if we wan’t to talk like cats, we need some more cheezburgers. I guess that the internet has decided that cats must have lol before their name, a caption and a lot, of freaking Z’s. I mean loaded with Z’s, don’t hold back, the cats can only get cuter.

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