Overcrowding at Jefferson

By: M.

Jefferson has a serious overcrowding problem.  There are two hundred and fifty-five students in sixth grade, three hundred and twenty-five students in seventh grade, and two hundred and seventy-five students in eighth grade.  The seventh grade has far too many students enrolled in it.

Because of this, we will now be using an extraordinary new program aligned with the No Child Left Behind act, but never used until now.  Strong evidence shows that this provision was meant to be the crown jewel of NCLB, and was called to our attention by a third grader from right here in New Mexico.  The main reason we chose this particular program is because this plan was created by the loved former President Bush, and was his favorite part of the NCLB.

The “Final Solution”is a fantastic quadruple benefit plan that will most definitely fix overcrowding at Jefferson.   In the “Final Solution” we will select half of the seventh grade class go on a “learning experience”.  The selected half of the seventh grade class will go to a New Mexico National Forest where they will have the privilege of fight the most out of control forest fires.  This is a good character-building experience, where they will learn ethics, morals and fire suppression strategies that will carry them through their life.

The selected group of seventh graders will be chosen by scores on New Mexico’s Standard Based Assessment.  The students that scored lowest will be part of the special selected group of seventh grade students.

These children will be removed before next year’s SBA so that the 2010-2011 8th  grade average will not be dragged down.  The reason that the “Final Solution” uses the SBA to decide which students are worthy of the “ final solution learning experience” is because the SBA is a great test that accurately predicts a student’s suitably for fighting forest fires.

The “Final solution” has many other benefits.

  • First, without lower grades of the students in the “final solution”, Jefferson Middle School will reach Adequate Yearly Progress.
  • Second, it will allow those students who will eventually drop out anyway to avoid the hassle of going to school at all.
  • Third, it will allow the smarter, more successful students at Jefferson to get the chance to learn.
  • Fourth, the high school dropouts will be able to replenish the low-income work force.

Jefferson is going to lean the nation in education reform and will be the example the country needs.  If this happened in every school in America, we would undoubtedly be left with a superior group of human beings.  The “final solution” will allow America to once again be the driving force in the world.

The choice is clear; the final solution is the best plan to get rid of overcrowding in halls and class at Jefferson.  It also leaves America a chance to cleanse it youth, in a way that is good for everyone involved.  Reader, I implore you to see reason and understand that the “final solution” is the only option for America if we are to survive.

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