Cannibalism

As everyone knows, cannibalism is a gratuitous, disgusting taboo that the breaking of merits lynching. Right? Wrong.

I believe, as any intellectual would, that our beliefs about cannibalism are ludicrous. Firstly, why not? Humans provide good meat (According to an account of a doctor who ate the meat of a dead patient.) and taste, apparently, like very well cooked veal. Additionally, as each human sports a decent amount of meat, and quite honestly, right now we need all the food we can get.

Problem 1: Illnesses. Obviously, it is unwise to consume a being that is suffering from rabies or other diseases. Even if the disease cannot be transferred by the consumption of the flesh, there is something awkward in thinking to oneself “Today, I devoured the meat of someone bearing a fatal disease that renders the brain inactive and paralyzes one until they die.” (Note- to my knowledge, no such disease exists.)

The solution is simple enough- eat only the meat of bodies that have been pronounced free of such infections.

Beyond this, however, there is no reason not to proceed to devour your dear uncle Barney. One would imagine that the dead like to think that their bodies were put to good use.

I appreciate your reading of this humble article, and hope that it has influenced your decisions in the future- any writer would like to claim that his/her piece has revolutionized the world. I hope mine has.

By: Ben

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5 thoughts on “Cannibalism

  1. Jonathan :
    Hmmm… I can’t say I agree, but well written.Try writing on something a bit less morbid.

    If you don’t like reading morbid articles, than why in (insert deity here)’s name did you read one about cannibilism? Also, he can write whatever he wants to write about. Grrr…. (as you can tell, I am really tired right now)

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